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Reefer etiquette?

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aptasia ati blasto buy coral fish frag frags free healthy leather live marine meeting mushroom par photos problem sale setup stand tank trade wanted zoa
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when viewing members tank is it proper to ask for a frag?

  • NO, not in a million years

    Votes: 35 33%

  • Yes, never hurts to ask

    Votes: 50 47%

  • Maybe, depends on his seller reputation

    Votes: 10 9.4%

  • Coral looks to sweet not to ask

    Votes: 11 10%
  • Total voters
    106
  • Poll closed .
1 - 20 of 36 Posts
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Kenbow19

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Discussion starter · #1 ·
Is it proper to ask a reefer who posts pictures of his or her setup/tank for frags?
I believe some people refrain from posting such photos for fear of being PMed to death.:(
 
#6 ·
I don't think it hurts at all to PM them and ask to set up a trade or ask if they are interested in doing a trade. The least they can say is no, so what is the harm in it. It has happened to me and I never have a problem with it as I like to trade a lot. I think one PM is all you can send though and if they don't respond then leave it at that.

I don't think you should post in that thread about getting a frag or wanting a frag that should be left to PM.....I know on another site we don't care much about that and the rules are more lax. But that site is full of zoa collectors and we are always posting and trading......I know on RC and here I believe it is against the rules to post in thread for frags......JMHO.
 
#7 ·
I think it depends.... On how well you know this person.

If you don't know them at all, and it's something very expensive, I wouldn't ask for a FREE frag. I would be polite, and ask IF they chose to frag it, would that person contact me with a price, when they are ready?

If vaugely know this person, I would PM and ask if they might be intrested in a trade.

If it's a good friend, I'd just call them on the phone and ask, " Yo, where's mine? " :D
 
#8 ·
umm it's tough one

st when you say ask are you saying for free if so no, the same way I was told not to beg when I was a kid. it alsi depends on where you are with this person are you good friends 1st time over, buying some equipment. if it was somebody I knew well I might say if you decide to frag that I like to buy some. but that depends on the friendship or relationship. many I would never asked unless asked. :D
 
#9 ·
Well as with most things, the more tack and grace you have the better. Yes people can also be too PC. Maybe more appropriate would be to PM the person and say, "I love that coral and someday if you have to frag it, please keep me in mind". I think I would be flattered if someone did that. With all the long rhetoric here lately about what should or should not be done or this that and so on and so on, it seems to me that just being nice about things, adding humor when possible and keeping judgement to a minimum or not judging at all (hard thing for us humans to do) is the ticket to all having fun. So my answer, sure go ahead and ask, maybe if you live close, come on over and ya never know, could be a cool friendship.
 
#11 ·
I personally have met two board members in person this week because I asked for frags and we got a trade going. Trading is the best part about this hobby.

Don't hate...propagate!!!

Reef Power!

:cool:
 
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#13 ·
is it proper to ask for a frag??

i personally would be flattered if someone asked for a frag of somethig they seen in my tank. but then again i could see how it could get annoying. if someone just messages you and comments on how they like a certain peice you have in your tank and to consider them if you do frag then i thinks its fine to ask. long as you dont pester them everyday asking when and if they are going to frag it.
 
#14 ·
if the person has something u want, why not ask to buy or trade. no i dont think it would be right to ask for it for free, nothing in this world is free(besides aptasia). if you get offended by someone asking u if u would sell a frag, then i dont think u have any buisness having the internet in the first place. jmo
 
#16 ·
I can see both sides of the argument.
Unfortunately, bringing it up is almost moot.

Some people are going to be rude no matter what. They probably don't even mean to be. They just have a different set of social skills.

Other people can be polite in asking.

It seems a shame to keep from posting a pic just because you don't want to tell people, "Sorry, it's not available."

The only times I've ever posted such an unsolicited request was always in jest. It was meant as a compliment/joke. I didn't actually expect a frag. It's just another way of saying - "congrats on the awsome coral."
 
#17 ·
Let me say, it doesn't bother me as much as some people.

But in "real" life(as opposed to here in internet life), you probably don't go around randomly asking people if you can buy their stuff. Here are some other examples to consider:

Do you drive by someone's house, walk up to your door and ask you if you want to sell it? (no for sale sign in the yard.)

(If you're a woman), Do you walk up to another woman and asks if you can buy their shoes?

Any time you see a nice sports car parked, do you write a note on the windshield asking if they want to sell it?

Now any of these examples would be a little easier to deal with if they were accompanied with an offer that was 3 times what it normally go for. But most of the people inquiring about purchasing frags seem to be interested in paying less than half of what it would normally sell for.
 
#18 ·
I think as marine aquarists and conservationists we should OFFER each other frags. If you have something cool and desirable spread it around. Thats what this hobby should be all about.....

I'm not saying an aquarist has to chop up every coral he or she has, but to share a frag or two with a fellow hobbyist is good for the coral and good for building this hobby.

I think its okay to ask for a frag if the coral is healthy enough to cut one off.

JMO

Dan
 
#19 ·
jimsflies said:
Let me say, it doesn't bother me as much as some people. Above or under the picture, why not just post, "NFS" as in Nothing For Sale? It would let people know where you stand on the issue, in no uncertain terms.

(If you're a woman), Do you walk up to another woman and asks if you can buy their shoes? for her.No, but I would ask "Where did you buy those cool shoes, I love them?" So I can go buy the exact same shoes. The woman who I'm asking knows this, and will tell you, if she doesn't care if you own the same pair. If she does care (catty type :eek: ) she will tell you she doesn't remember. So, no harm is asking, and if nothing else, it's a nice compliment for her.

Now any of these examples would be a little easier to deal with if they were accompanied with an offer that was 3 times what it normally go for. But most of the people inquiring about purchasing frags seem to be interested in paying less than half of what it would normally sell for.
Click to expand...
Well, I say let THEM set their price. If you really want the frag, ya just gotta pony-up with the wallet when you don't know the person. Asking someone you don't know for Free, or Discount Frags isn't very nice.

As with your shoe example, I wouldn't ask if I could have for free the shoes she is wearing, right off her feet! That would be pretty rude, IMO.
 
#20 ·
I agree that asking for a free frag is pretty rude.

But sending a PM and letting them know you would like to buy a frag if/when they frag it, it not rude IMO. And like Clownfish said "let them set the price"

Telling him/her that you would buy a frag for "such and such" is kind of pushing (JMO)

Over all, I think it depends on how well you know them.
 
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stereomandan
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